The Hairbrush Song



The following parody was created by a fan who posted as "AOTO" (short for "Angel of the Opera," as in the novel by Sam Siciliano). It was inspired by watching too much Veggie Tunes.





Narrator: And now it's time for "Angry Songs with Erik," the part of the show where Erik storms out and bellows an angry song. Our curtain opens as Erik, having just finished his morning bath, is searching for his hairbrush in his lair. Having no success, Erik yells out:

Erik: Oh where is my hairbrush? Oh where is that darn hairbrush? Oh where, Oh where, Oh where, Oh where, Oh where, Oh where, Oh where, Oh where, Oh where... Is my hairbrush?!

Narrator: Having heard his yell, Raoul enters the lair. Shocked and repulsed at the sight of Erik in a towel, Raoul regains his composure and reports:

Raoul: I believe I recall seeing a hairbrush in Box Five.

Narrator: Now Erik, having heard the good news, calmly proclaims in the face of his adversary:

Erik: Up there is my hairbrush! In Box Five is my hairbrush! Up there, Up there, Oh where, Up there, Oh where, Oh where, Up there, Up there, Up there! Is my hairbrush!

Narrator: Having heard his calm proclamation, Meg Giry enters the lair. Shocked and somewhat scared at the sight of Erik in a towel, Meg regains her composure and whispers:

Meg: Why do you require a hairbrush? You do not have enough hair to brush!

Narrator: After his initial impulse to throw things, Erik is taken aback. The thought had never occurred to him. Not enough hair? What will this mean? What will become of him? What will become of his hairbrush? Erik pouts:

Erik: Not enough hair for my hairbrush, almost no hair for my hair brush. No hair, No hair, No hair, No hair, No hair, Nowhere, Up there, No hair, Not enough hair for my hairbrush!

Narrator: Having heard his pouts, Madame Giry enters the lair. Shocked and extremely embarrassed at the sight of Erik in a towel, Madame Giry regains her composure and confesses:

Madame Giry: Monsieur! That old hairbrush of yours? Well, you never use it and you don't really need it. So, well, I beg your pardon, I didn't know, but, I gave it to Christine. Because she has hair. Lots of it.

Narrator: Feeling close to exploding with rage, Erik turns his back and screams:

Erik: Not fair! Oh my hairbrush! Not fair! That blasted hairbrush! Not fair, Not fair, No hair, Not fair, Nowhere, No hair, Not fair, Not fair, Not fair... My only hairbrush!

Narrator: Having heard his rather loud scream, Christine Daaé enters the lair. Herself in a towel, both Erik and Christine are shocked and slightly overcome at the sight of each other. But recognizing her Angel's generosity, Christine is thankful:

Christine: Merci beaucoup, mon Ange.

Narrator: Yes, good has been done here. Christine exits the lair, giving one last smile to Erik but ignoring Raoul. Erik waves stupidly, but wanting Christine to return, he calls out:

Erik: Take care of that hairbrush, Take care of that hairbrush. Take care, Take care, don't dare not care, Take care, Lovely hair, My lair, Take care, Take care, Of my hairbrush!








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