Top Ten Things Erik (the Phantom) Would Not Say:
- Listen, Christine. I think we need to see other people.
- I must write a new musical: Meg's Legs!
- I am such a talentless little man.
- Sod this haunting business. I'm going to take up interior decorating!
- Daroga! How I have missed you! (hugs) Come on in and we can talk about old times!
- I'm dumping Christine for Carlotta.
- (sitting down writing a letter to the managers and frowns) The red ink is getting a bit old. Perhaps I will go with a happy pink!
- Christine's debut is tonight? But it's Superbowl night!
- (from behind any trap door) WAASUUUUUP!
- I feel fat. Do these coat-tails make my butt look big?
Top Ten Things Christine Would Not Say:
- (to Raoul) You killed Erik! Nooooo!
- (upon seeing Erik's face, a look of delight springs across her face) That's COOL!
- (to Erik) I'm sick and tired of your emotional constipation.
- (during the final lair scene) Boys, I hate to spoil your fun, but I'm on in five. If we could just sort of hold the phone for a few mins. After all, I *do* have a career to pursue!
- Erik, you just have the cutest lil' nose!
- Like, omigod! Erik like wears totally gnarly clothes! And Raoul, I mean what a total geek, like gag me with a spoon.
- (pushing Meg in front of her) Here, Erik. She's pretty and nice. Teach *her* how to sing!
- (to Erik, and then to Raoul) I knew you were crazy from the beginning, but now I think you are both mad!
- (to her father's grave) Dad, we need to talk about this Angel thing.
- (to Erik) Raoul? That bimbo? He's just my boy toy!
Top Ten Things Raoul Would Not Say:
- (to Phantom, about Christine) I was only using her to get to Carlotta!
- (to Phantom) It's okay, you can have her 'cause you're the man!
- I'm just going to give up on Christine. She obviously has no interest in me whatsoever.
- Christine, shut up!
- (to Christine, when they were children) I'm not your mutt. Go fetch your own scarf!
- Christine, Erik, I'll pay for your wedding. I just want to see the two of you together. Never mind that you are a murdering pyschopath who lives in a cellar. Godspeed. *sniff*
- Can it be, can it be Christine? No wait, that's a palm tree.
- You're right, Christine. I believe you.
- (on Christine first mentioning it) I knew it! There IS a Phantom of the Opera!
- Christine, I have the greatest idea. I'm going to go to the masquerade as Red Death!
Top Ten Things Carlotta Would Not Say (unless she's up to no good):
- I can't sing.
- Why would anyone want to hear me talk, much less sing?
- You can take my place tonight, Christine. I feel too tired to perform at the moment.
- I wish I had Christine's voice.
- Oh, no, no, no! I'm sorry. She's not a toad, I am. Come my prince, and kiss me. I've wanted you oh so long, Mr. Opera Ghost!
- I need a lot of coaching and rehearsals.
- My dressing room is too big.
- (about Christine, after a successful debut) You know, I have always liked that girl.
- (at least in Andrew Lloyd Webber musical) The show must go on!
- I'm getting too old to play some of these roles.
Some Other Miscellaneous Ones:
- Madame Giry: You know, I believe I know something that might be of use to you, and I will gladly share with you.
- Firmin to Andre: Andre, look! We got a letter from OG!! (Andre cheers)
- Firmin and Andre: We never liked that chandelier anyway.
- Ubaldo Piangi: Carlotta, shut up! You are creating such a scene!
- The Persian/Daroga: (to Erik) Why do you always talk so mean to me? (Weeps into a hankerchief)
- The Persian/Daroga: (while going under catacombs) EEEEE! Mice! (Jumps into Raoul's arms)
- Ratcatcher: (overhears daroga) Mice? Where? EEEEE! (Runs away)
- Inspector Ledoux: Women dig my uniform.
- Raoul and Daroga/Ledoux: (to Erik and Christine) Party on dudes! Be excellent to one another!
- Susan Kay: I hate the Lord Andy musical! I want a scary show! (Hugs Robert Englund phantom DVD)
- Frederick Forsythe: I am so crazy about Gaston Leroux. He's the best author I ever read. I especially love the Persian! Wow, what a guy! Is he on top of things or what!
- Robert Englund: I wanted to play a kinder, gentler Erik.